All the experiences of individual perspective, and in fact all experiences of duality (duality meaning experiences of contrast like “up versus down,” “hot versus cold,” etc.), exist “within” the larger reality of consciousness that “contains” everything. We call that larger reality of consciousness “God.” All individual perspectives and all cause-and-effect events and choices that led to them are all “accounted for” within that great awareness. Absolutely everything is known and accounted for. And yet that great awareness is not simply a sum-total of individual perspectives, but is a potent living consciousness that far exceeds the sum of its parts.
From an individualized perspective within a dualistic universe such as ours, we simply cannot grasp what that means. God as the Author of duality is beyond it- so we cannot define all of Him from within it.
Stated differently, it is impossible to describe God with the Earthly dualistic intellect, such as the one you are using right now. Since form cannot describe the formless, God- the author of form- is beyond description.
Fortunately, however, the spirit of which we are primarily comprised does exist beyond duality. It is a part of God. Your earthly personality, steeped high in the experience of duality, may not remember it- but because your spirit is irrevocably a part of God, you do fundamentally transcend the dualism, just like God does.
It is OK then, when you wish, to let every single thing in your life go: to relinquish your death-grip on forms, responsibilities, and ideas, and simply allow yourself to be fully present, exposed, and surrendered to the current moment. God, the great Author, is always there.