You do not need to be hard on yourself for being where you are. Wherever you are, whatever you have become- you are at an OK place now, and the universe understands fully why you got to where you are. You made a lot of choices to get here- both those you remember and many you do not- and it is OK that you made those choices.
Simultaneously, oftentimes spiritual growth is only possible when we recognize where we have failed. In response to our fear and the negative self-perceptions that we have bought into over the course of our lifetimes, we commonly tell ourselves stories about why we are worthy or justified. In fact, we are already worthy and justified; none of the stories are required. However, those stories do often prevent us from seeing where, in fact, we could be more loving. We can become blind to where we need to grow when we think we are already grown up.
Being both totally OK with where you are and also simultaneously being aware of your shortcomings requires a profound amount of both full self-love and humility. Self-love and humility are not opposites; we can and should develop both qualities simultaneously. The path for doing so is a complex and personal journey that is not easily articulated. Yet wherever you are, allow yourself today to recognize it is OK that you are where you are, no matter the circumstances you may find yourself in. Accepting ourselves by accepting our circumstances and our part in those circumstances is a powerful step toward lasting peace.