Finding the Sensitive You

Most of us are sensitive in ways that our ego won’t admit. That sensitivity often leads toward the real us.

The ego is not a separate entity- it is the part of us that wishes to protect us. We wish to protect ourselves. And one of the most common ways to do so is to avoid feeling pain- especially the pain of negative emotions that result from the limiting perspectives we buy into and the negative beliefs we hold about ourselves and our world. We play all sorts of games with ourselves to avoid facing that which we do not want to face, and to avoid feeling that which we do not want to feel. We effectively close ourselves off from our own actual experience.

But in so doing, we temporarily segregate ourselves from our own true nature, which is unified and completely present with “what is.” The ego creates a cage of ideas and beliefs to protect us, but in so doing, we are no longer free. We accept the illusion of the cage to avoid fear and pain, rather than being present with exactly “what is” and feeling exactly “what we feel.”

At the heart of the issue is our unwillingness to face our experience for exactly what it is because doing so may be terrifying or painful. The way to healing then is to choose to fully allow our own experience, no matter what it may be, without the protective beliefs, judgments, and stories of the mind. Leaving behind the cage can be absolutely terrifying, and can even feel like personal destruction! But in fact, reality itself is there to support you, because despite its appearances, reality is ultimately built upon love, not pain. In fact, the universe itself wants you to succeed in integrating your life experience and conquering your fear!

But such a journey is not one that can be taken abruptly: it is the small movements towards the courage to genuinely feel that help bring us closer to who we really are.

So when you are ready, make the choice to actually feel what you feel, no matter what you intellectually think it may mean about you. Feel your experience in your body, rather than listening to the age-old learned stories of your mind. Beneath all the scars, you are still sensitive- and when you find that genuine sensitivity, allow it, feel it, and embrace it, you will re-discover a piece of your true and ever-powerful self.

Following the Signpost of Suffering

You are not fundamentally human. You are your “higher self” – the greater portion of you that transcends the physical experience and is ever connected to the Light. That higher self knows that it is powerful, and unharmable, and connected, and loved.

And yet the human experience gives us the opportunity to actually experience something else. At times we believe- or even assume- that we are powerless, vulnerable, disconnected, or unloved. And when we do, we suffer. For some of us, much of our lives seem to be filled with these feelings.

We suffer precisely because these self-perceptions (perceiving one’s self to be powerless, vulnerable, disconnected, or unloved) are not in alignment with the more fundamental truths of our greater nature. We suffer when we buy into a perception that is not in alignment with the greater truth. The higher self can’t be (isn’t) powerless, it is a powerful part of God- so when we adopt a self-perception of powerlessness, we suffer. The higher self can’t be (isn’t) vulnerable, it is unharmable and eternal- so when we adopt a self-perception of vulnerability, we suffer. The higher self can’t be (isn’t) disconnected- so when we adopt a self-perception of loneliness or distance, we suffer. The higher self can’t be (isn’t) unloved, it is profoundly celebrated and adored- so when we adopt a self-perception of shame or worthlessness, we suffer.

Discontentedness or suffering is a signpost to point towards the inaccurate self-perception we believe our circumstances are proving to us.

Yet the circumstances themselves do not automatically convey anything! No matter how rigorous or painful they may seem, they are neutral- they only give the experiencer the opportunity to place a meaning upon them, including one that is not in alignment with the more enduring truth.

When you suffer then, follow the signpost! What negative self-perception are you buying into? What circumstance of your life is “proving” to you that negative self-perception is true? What fear are you avoiding? See if you can allow yourself to completely let go of all your stories, completely let go of all the meaning you are placing on the circumstance or sensation, and completely let go of even all the self-perception “buy-ins” you are entertaining. Beneath all of that, you are still YOU- the real you- and you are powerful, unharmable, connected, and always deeply and overwhelmingly loved!

I Am, Therefore I Think

Descartes, with his famous conclusion “I think, therefore I am,” had it backwards. Thought does not precede being, being precedes thought. Thinking a thought does not create beingness: existing beingness thinks a thought. Or perhaps more accurately, existing unlimited beingness “becomes” the experience of being a perspective that thinks a thought.

While we are here in the physical though, we often deeply “lose” ourselves in “enticing” yet shallow thought. We become almost completely wrapped up in the ideas of our minds: ideas of identity, ideas of responsibility, and beliefs. We think we are our identity, we think we are our responsibilities, and we think reality is just as we believe. None of that is fundamental.

That idea can sound frightening, because we are so wrapped up in the illusory identity, that when it is threatened we feel (incorrectly) that our very being is threatened. Ironically, it is only through being wrapped up in what is not ultimately real that we can even feel threatened! What we really are- that which we call spirit, or consciousness, or beingness- that can never be threatened. Beingness is that which gives rise to all the ideas of the mind, and to the entire physical experience. This allows it to engage in precious creation-expanding perspectives.

So next time you think that your thoughts or your beliefs make you you, or you feel fear or hopelessness as a result of them, remind yourself: your thoughts exist within you, you do not exist within your thoughts!